Thursday, September 27, 2007

A "Second" Something

Lately I have not enjoyed painting. My half finished projects have stared at me mockingly like a senior jock taunting a freshman klutz who is trying out for the football team. They look down at me quizzically wondering how I will attempt to ruin them next. The pressure to create a sophisticated and professional portfolio dried up my creativity faster than a tube of paint left open. So I took away the pressure. Deadlines have their purposes, but in my world I would rather create because I wanted to and not because it was expected of me. I tend to like the results much more when I work that way. Art classes are the one exception because the number of artists in the room inspiring creativity some how out balance the stress of the deadlines.

With all this in mind, I was lying awake last night stressing about a million different things. I got out of bed for... I forget what... but this lovely long half finished canvas caught my eye. I had decided to paint over this canvas' current painting a week ago and had an idea, but the pressure to create had held me back. This time, however, the canvas took a hold of me. PJs and all I got up, grabbed the canvas, leaned it against my easel (rather than formally putting on the easel) and sat on the floor. This more intimate setting freed my creative juices and I began to paint. While I do not consider it a master piece by any means, it was so much fun and very freeing to create. I hung it up, the paint still a bit tacky, in my hall wall right outside my front door so that when I come home I can smile at the burst of inquisitive color.

I have called it "Second" because it is my second wind. It is also the second chance for this canvas and it's not perfect, so it's a second. I like second. I am okay with not having every dot dabbed on perfectly. I like being a bit free and finding a mistake here and there. It makes me feel more human and part of this over all imperfect world; like I belong here.


Second, acrylic, 12x36 (I think it)

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Weekend Update Plus

This was a fantastic weekend:

Friday night I stayed over at a friend's on campus so that I wouldn't have to travel as far for swim lessons on Saturday. It was really great to be able to hang out with her.

Saturday morning I taught swim lessons at the pool on campus. While it is a bit of a commute to get there, the time commitment over all is less than the pool near my house AND I like the staff, so it is worth it. I am teaching kids that level two (mostly swimming on their own, but need to built up strength and learn more than the doggy paddle) and who are mostly six and seven. This was a really fun class this first time. The second class that I am teaching is level one (first swim class ever for them) and most of the kids are three or four. These kids were adorable and we had a great time getting comfortable with the water and with me. Over all this was just a great experience. I am looking forward to the nine more weeks of classes.

Saturday afternoon after I got home I hopped on my bike and trekked towards the Lake Shore Bike Path and then traveled that all the way downtown to Grant Park. This trip is a round trip of twenty-five miles (I clocked it on google). At Grant Park I stopped in to check out the Doctors Without Borders Refugee Camp. This was a set up that allowed people to in a sense, experience what a refugee camp is like and how it feels for the refugee and for the doctors working with them. It was a really amazing experience and very impressive. On the way home I stopped at one of the beaches and spent a little while there, until it got chilly. It was a very peaceful way to end the afternoon.

Sunday afternoon my friend and I went to the final home Cubs game at Wrigley Field. I had such a great time. The most fun that I have ever had at a baseball game. It helped the the Cubs won eight to nothing and have great chances of making it into the playoffs. I would love it if they did. My friend and I then went dinner and then got ice cream. Just a very pleasant afternoon.

The Plus:
On my way home from work yesterday I must have run over a bit of glass because I popped my back tire. I heard a very distinct "pop" sound followed by an equally distinct "hiss" as the air rushed out of my tire. Thankfully I was only ten blocks from my house or else I would have had to take a bus home. I also had a neighbor offer to pick me up, so I was in no way stranded anywhere. But it quite literally let the air out of my freedom. I strongly dislike being confined to the bus schedule. I plan on going to the bike shop near my house this afternoon to see about getting it fixed.

The Plus Plus:

I am currently reconsidering attending Graduate school. It is something that I very much would like to do someday, but I am questioning the responsibility of adding to my current debt. I am also considering several options that will pacify my desire to travel while doing good for the world. More details as I have them. Either way, do not worry. I will not simply sit here twiddling my thumbs waiting for my life to happen. A big change will happen with in a year or two. What, when or where? We will have to wait and see.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

H's escapades...

Today began rather cloudy, although it was my mood, not the weather, that was overcast. I was feeling out-of-sorts and not dealing very well with H's idea of napping (a good hour shorter than usual). I truly can't complain because my little darling charge is still his happy self, just more wakeful than I'd prefer.

So, after his second shortened nap and a walk involving me calling, and vented to, my very patient mother, I gathered the darling up into my arms and sat with him on the deck. H and I both are going to miss this deck when his family moves. I have heard there is a deck at their new place, but this one looks down on a semi-busy street so there are always people and cars to look at and talk about. Sometimes we can sit and listen to the cheers from the Cubs stadium, but mostly we watch cars go by. There is often a lovely breeze, although today it was just nicely shaded and pleasant. H's avid curiously, usually expressed in through active bouts of exploration, is here centered on the sounds he hears and, today, he is much more calm.

With him on my lap, sometimes twisting to stand and others just content curled up in my arms, I marvel as the wonders of his seven month old frame. He was sitting in my lap, I was anchoring his knees to prevent him from toppling, and he just flopped back to curl up in my arms, but before getting to comfortable (he probably heard something he wanted to check out) he swings back up, just using his stomach muscles (legs still anchored by me), to a sitting position. This action amazes me because I am not sure I could do that with as little effort as he put into it.

I also discovered recently that his arm pits are ticklish. His feet have been ticklish for a while, causing riots of laughter at times when you blow raspberries on them. I am not sure if we just didn't think to tickle him or not, but when I figured it out, it was the cutest thing ever. With this in mind, today when we were on the porch, when he was reaching behind me to grab the back of the chair, I would reach up and tickle his arm nearest me. He would smile and bring his arm down and grin at me. He would keep reaching, and I would again tickle. His desire to grab the chair back was more persistent than his desire to resist being tickled. It was adorable.

He is also pulling himself to a standing position - everywhere that he possibly can. At seven months I find this to be amazing. He can reach from the coffee-table to the couch without too much difficulty, work his around tables and chairs and is in the process of figuring out how to get back to sitting without falling.

Another of his accomplishments that amazing me is his ability to spread his toys across the entire house. He is asleep again. A third nap is typically unusual, but his shorter naps and extended playtime wore him out. I am going to use the rest of this time to get the house in order again. I sometimes nap with him, but thanks to an early bedtime last night I am physically tired, but not sleepy. Oh well.

Friday, September 14, 2007

I was delusional...

I thought it was perfect: A free couch. What is more perfect than that? It was more perfect because it was just around the corner; eliminating the trouble of figuring out how to get couch from point A to point B.

MAJOR PROBLEM? My apartment apparently was not meant to hold furniture. We barely got the 'perfect' couch up to the second floor. Getting it to my third floor wasn't even a funny joke, it was impossible. Later last night (after returning the couch to the neighbors) I was lamenting my couch less living room when my friend stopped me by saying, "You need to remove the word couch from your vocabulary. Maybe love seat, or futon, but couch? No."

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I am home from home.

I had the most wonderful vacation home. I was able to see the people I wanted to see and spend time with my family. I wish I could spend more time with them, but I know after a while the draw of the city lights would bring me back here.

On Friday, back here in Chicago, I had a bunch of errands to do. One of them was getting my bike tuned up. This seemed like a huge bother, because I had to bike over, then take the bus home, wait for them to call me, and then to bus back to get my back. But afterwards I biked downtown to visit a friend and it was then that I realized how much my bike needed the tune up. It was much nicer biking afterwards. I figured I biked about 20 miles that day. It was glorious. I did get rained on, but that was refreshing.

This week has presented new challenges with biking. Yesterday and today it has been very cold in the mornings. Today I wore long pants and a jacket biking and even though I get sweaty, I am still cold. It's frustrating. I still think it's the most preferable way to get from point A to point B and am already lamenting the days to come when I wont be able to bike, but I really don't like being cold.